Poll Time

Just a random question for my faithful (and starving) three readers out there: would you consider this pair of undies to be men's or women's?








Details: it's 100% lycra, no slit in the front for a man's...er...you know, made by Jockey, and it says "M/M/M 32-34" for size.

Please post your best guess and reasoning, por favor. Again, I'm just curious. It's not like I've been wearing these without question for the past 6 years or anything like that...

The Elbow Miracle

So as luck has it, Peter Popoff is also a member at my health club and he healed my cancerous elbow in the men’s locker room. I’m kidding! He healed it in the steam room. But after giving the troublesome elbow a few days of recovery time, things seem back in order (knock-on-sustainably-grown-wood). I have, however, cut back on my lifting routine. Instead of lifting 3-4 weekly, it’s now down to 1-2 times per week. Which is, in all likelihood, a blessing in disguise. Sporting a Schwarzeneggeresque body this summer would’ve meant a) a tougher go of it at triathlon races and b) needing to beat-down legions of adoring ladies.

Demons-ah! Ah say..DEMONS-AH! Come OUT of thattah man's elbowaaah!

Since the last glorious posting, I’ve traveled like a banshee for work, lost my debit card (again), and declared a jihad against the USPS and its diabolical plot to withhold my mail (including W-2 forms, replacement debit cards, MN license tag renewal forms…you get the picture.) And people wonder why the USPS is heading towards extinction. Seriously, folks – do you really wonder why? The French coined a term for the level of service provided by our beloved USPS: “le suck”.

In other news, I went to Vegas for the Super Bowl weekend. It’s a long-standing tradition that Brett and I continue to honor. Jenny May even made the trip this year. In fact, this is the first year in which girls were invited. My roommate, Sherry May, made the trip, too. I don’t think we’ll have girls come next year (during the Super Bowl weekend, at least…) Too much estrogen. But it WAS good to see Jenny May again! She’s, like, my best pee buddy in the world! Oh, who am I kiddin’ – she’s my only pee buddy.

Does Jenny May look hawt because she's sexy? Or because a liquor store and cheap bottle of vodka serve as the background and prop respectively?


David needed some support...

Oh, new revelation in the pool today! In the past, I’ve been swimming laps wearing swim trunks. Since I’ve lost so much weight, my trunks don’t, er, exactly fit snug-like (in fact, it feels as if half of the pool patrons can look down my plumber’s…well, you know.) So, taking Jenny May’s advice, today I began swimming laps while sporting tri-shorts.

Oh. My. Lord.

There are moments in a person’s life where the awesomenessitudity factor comes close to blacking a person out from sheer joy. Discovering HDTV for the first time. Switching from dial-up to cable internet. Finding two fortunes inside of a single cookie. Being cured of elbow cancer. This was one of those moments. Good-bye feel-like-I’m-dragging-a-parachute feeling, hello speeding-like-a-bullet sensation! I couldn’t get over it! It was better than getting that awesome Buck Rogers spaceship for Christmas when I was seven. Well…maybe not THAT awesome. But you get the drift. I swam for 45 straight minutes in constant amazement.


No contest. This gift will never be topped.

YES WE CA-Zzzzzzzzzzzz........

I Have a Boo Boo in my Elbow

At least, that's what I would tell the doctor. So there I was, swimming last night doing laps...when all of a sudden my left elbow starts acting up. And I knew right away what was up: my old injury.

What "old injury", Joe Bobby?

Well, it's like this you eager beavers. Way back in the day when I was livin' in Miami, I shattered that same elbow playing a pick-up game of basketball. The good news? I blocked that mother-effing shot (BOO yah! I must protect this HOUSE!) The bad news? I was introduced to Miami's medical "system" (I use that term loosely). In the end, I was the beneficiary of a monthly paycheck from Uncle Sam...because technically I'm a DISABLED VET! (muah ha ha ha!!) It's not much, but it's more than enough to cover my beer costs and gas. [thank you, tax payers!]

Anywho, I'm bummed...because this means no more swimming until Friday, at least (I'm going to give it another go on Friday night). It also means I'm going to severely curtail my lifting regimen. No more every-other-day benching et al. Maybe twice a week and then perhaps build up to three times every now and again? Anywho, swimming is doing wonderous things for my physique and psyche. It'd be a shame if this elbow injury turns out to be something much more sinister. Like...elbow cancer.

I know, I know...I shouldn't joke about elbow cancer. It does, after all, kill someone every 22 years. Looks like it's nothing but treadmill running for the next few days. *le sigh*

WTF happened to 2008?!

Stardate 01.19.2009. My momma and Karin May are relentless in their demand for a new blog entry. So without further ado, behold! My glorious blog entry!

Last time I checked, it was Thanksgiving. I took time off to drive to/from Minnesota. Never again. I mean, there’s boring…and then there’s Drive-through-Ohio-Indiana-Illinois-and-Wisconsin-twice-within-a-week boring. The next time I make that trip, it’ll be a one-way trek.

Teaching. I’m done – yay! It was the mother-of-all-learning experiences. I truly learned as much, if not more so, than my students. Who knew that prepping for classes would entail so much time and energy? I now have a newfound respect and admiration for those that do this for a living. I’m taking this semester off to focus on work (which totally freaked out the staff at WVWC – they think I’m never returning to the ivory tower.) So in response, the Dean called me personally and asked for me to create a class of my own choosing from scratch. Muah ha ha ha!!! So for the May term (and possibly the Summer term), I’m creating an “International Environment of Business” class designed with grad students in mind. I’m planning to load it with relevant/timely issues (i.e. regional trade agreements, mechanisms of global trade, globalism myths, basics of int’l finance…) I’m open to other suggestions/recommendations, though. Any ideas out there?


On a random, cold/snowy December weekend, I embarked on a killer college football bonanza: drove up to California, PA to watch the U of MN-Duluth Bulldogs play a Div II playoff game...then later in the day watched WVU take on South Florida.

Bulldogs win! Photo of the QB's momma (srsly)

WVU vs. South Florida; a random fan with a dead animal of some sort on his noggin'

So I flew to Southern California right before the Christmas break on rather last minute notice. And, yes, maybe it wasn’t all about work…

We aren't dating, okay? Just chill everyone.

For Christmas Break I flew to Louisiana on Christmas Eve to spend it with my sister and her family (my mom joined as well on the 26th). I’m now a HUGE fan of my little nieces and nephew residing in the Bayou – they’re the awesomest!

On the 30th, I flew back to Pittsburgh arriving at 7pm (after the sun set), drove back to WV to swap out clothes, re-pack, grab a bite, before driving back UP to Pittsburgh to catch a 6am flight (before the sun rose) bound for Southern California in order to get there in time for NYE. Was sooo worth it ;)

Went to the Rose Bowl to witness first-hand the carnage. After the dust settled, USC emerged victorious. Again.


Rose Bowl 2009, Song Girls, Rache, USC = Champs. Again. *yawn*

THREE BIGGEST NEWS EVENTS SO FAR IN 2009 (aka “Year of the Halfie”):

I broke down and bought an iPod Nano. I heart it. Mightily so.

The HealthPlex gym opened (of which, I’m a Charter Member – woo hoo!) I got a bitchin’ personalized locker (with “Joe Bobby” proudly emblazoned on a brass nameplate). Even better, I swim about 5-6 times a week (no kidding), sometimes twice a day. A veritable water baby. And I now love running on the treadmills. Why? Easy. Because they have ESPN on HDTV above each and every one of them. Damn them! They conducted their marketing research rather well. So my now-established routine: run on the treadmill for 20-30 minutes; bench press, curls, leg lifts for another 20-30 minutes; swim for 30+ minutes; steam room + hot tub for another 20 minutes before I shower and avoid eye contact with the other nekked men surrounding me (just kidding – I stare).
Um…I completely spaced on this one. But I’m sure it was important? Hmmm…I’ll get back to you on this one.


On deck:
Jacksonville, FL trip (work)

Las Vegas trip (personal)

Pennsylvania ski weekend (personal)

Minneapolis, MN trip (personal)

Southern Cal trip (work + personal)

Frozen Four/Cherry Blossom Festival weekend @ DC (personal)

May/Summer Term teaching gig

Stay tuned...

Toronto, eh?

Last Thursday morning I realized that I had nothing planned for that upcoming weekend. Petrified, I whipped out the atlas and threw a dart. *phwip!* Toronto, here we come! Friday afternoon saw Sherry May and I loading up my truck (it’s a Nissan Maxima truck), and began the 6 hour trek. Just outside of Erie we narrowly avoided hitting a deer. The bottom half of the deer, that is. We totally nailed its other half about a ¼ mile up the interstate. Yeah, that’s right – some other vehicle split the deer in half right before we got there. EEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

After a few more hours on I-90, we got bored. Luckily, New York’s finest clocked me with a laser doing 80 in a 65. My favorite line: “I also tracked you visually going 77.” Um, excuse me? You visually determined my speed? Is this some sort of parlor/carnival trick of which I’m unaware? A part of me just wants to pay the fine and be over with it (the amount is undetermined, btw…a judge sets it later. WTF is up with THAT process?) But a growing part of me wants to drive back up for the court date. Stay tuned for a killer blog post in mid-December set in a NY courtroom. But I digress…

Those glowing lights in the back? Yeah, it's the fuzz. Again. *sigh*

We spent the first night driving in the wrong lane over the U.S.– Canada bridge (long story) before ultimately finding a room on the Canadian side. We couldn’t see the falls that evening as it was raining pretty steadily. So instead we went to a fun bar (Yanks’) and listened to a live band before making our way back to Tim Hortons and calling it a night. The next day we jumped on the QEW and headed off to Toronto, only about 2 centimeters away on the tourist map (a-boot a 1-hour drive). Once we got there, we went to the top of the CN Tower and took in the view.


There was a cool glass floor that attracted every other Asian tourist toting a camera within a 3 km radius (sorry, we’re using the metric system henceforth for this post in honour of our neighbours to the north, eh). For lunch we dined atop the revolving restaurant thingy up there.


Medieval Times. What can you say about a restaurant that forces its employees to dress like it was 1570, address customers as ‘My Lord’ or ‘My Lady’, expects to be referred to as ‘beer wench’ and offers jousting, sword fighting, and a campy storyline as entertainment? In a word, it was totallyfrigginaweshum!!! It only took us about an extra hour of driving aimlessly around the building before we figured out the parking lot situation, but hey, we made it. We totally represented the Black & White knight: we talked smack to rival knight followers in the lobby, drank beer and liquor from oversized goblets, devoured soup and greasy chicken sans silverware, and insisted that the workers stay in character and refer to us as “my Lord” and “my Lady”. I’m soooo booking that venue for my groom’s dinner.


Crocodile Rocks aka ‘Club Cougar’ Dear LORD! I’ve never seen so many Cougars dressed to the 9’s at a club AND so many 20 y.o. guys congregated at the same place, each group hoping to be landed by someone in the other camp. Fascinating. Simply fascinating.

Driving/slipping in the parking garage; I love you, Anne Hathaway!; the view from our hotel room

Kensington Market and Chinatown (thought of you, Jeff Bobby & Jenny May!!!) What I remember most was bizarre weather – sunny and warm one minute, blizzard like conditions the next, pouring rain shortly thereafter, and then a return to sunny weather. Oh, and lots of thrift shops.


Lost in Chinatown; Staring down a chicken; Best hat EVER

Finally, we saw Niagara Falls on the way home!

The cool thing about the entire weekend: pretty much drove without a map or a set agenda…and it was the best trip ever!

Halloween!

Okay, so I’ve been more than a tad delinquent with this Blog. Apologies to my faithful readers. Both of you.

Halloween!

Barbie May was kind enough to take me to her company’s Halloween party on a Sunday evening in Vienna, WV. I panicked and ended up dressing as “a Hawaiian dressed as a bunny”. I thought I pulled it off, but Barbie May wasn’t so sure. HER costume, on the other hand, was righteous – she went as a rockin’ hippie babe from the swingin’ 60’s. The entire evening was fun ~ I proposed to a few girls and had my picture taken with Hannah Montana.

A few days later, Barbie May got a wicked awesome tattoo. I’m still thinking about the M-dawt tat. If I do, it’ll be one to memorialize the IM Moo (see Holstein M-dawt rendition below…)

Should I get this M-dot tat???